The Beauty is in the Shop

Hey there, let me ask you a question...

Do you think that women should be worshipped? I mean, really get down into this question and see if you have ever behaved like you think they should.

Billboards, magazine covers, mom, TV and more, seem to convey the idea that "women are and want to be worshipped and treated like Queens".

But here's another way to think of it:

Women are HUMAN too! That's right. They're just people- and no matter what people say, we seem to resent those who worship us, or even obsess over us too much.

Perhaps it's because we as humans want to be challenged, and actually enjoy some constructive criticism every once in awhile.

Maybe it's because we are all insecure at some level and can't perceive others complimenting us, or praising us too much, as REAL...

In any case, I want you to think of a time when YOU felt like someone else was obsessing over you, or worshiping YOU. Maybe someone (a guy or a girl) oggled over your abilities to play a certain sport, play a musical instrument, dance a funky song, or even reach certain scholastic or academic achievements.

Maybe you were complimented, praised over, and showered with accolade upon accolade. Admittedly, it may have felt pretty good, huh? But then what if that person started to praise you a little too much... those good feelings of being complimented would soon turn into feelings of irritation and annoyance.

What if people started to do something even worse: compare THEMSELVES negatively against you saying it would be impossible for them to achieve/have what you have because they just weren't as naturally smart/attractive/strong as you were? No matter how hard you would try to convince them otherwise, they wouldn't believe you that you weren't always so good at what you did, or that you were no better or worse then they, or anyone else were.

...I know you're feelin' what I'm saying.

It would get ANNOYING somehow, in a way that you can't quite put your finger on.

Well, I'm going to suggest that next time you approach an attractive woman...don't ANNOY her or give her too much credit where credit cannot possibly be due. The reality is that no one is perfect, with the exception of God Almighty. Everyone could use a little constructive criticism and do without the excessive compliments. This applies to every man, and every woman - beautiful, or not!

My cousin once told me something very wise that is a saying from twi, a language from Ghana.

That saying is:

"The beauty is in the shop".

This means that we have to realize that many attractive women produce an EFFECT of attractiveness and air of superiority by buying the right products, clothes and make-up. As obvious as this sounds, it is worth mentioning that underneath it all, they're just like you and I.

The other important aspect of "the beauty is in the shop" is that attractive women don't alway truly identify with the way most people see them come across, due to the clothes and make-up. Treating women too well, and sucking up to them too much might actually do the opposite of what you intended. This treatment may alienate women from you!

Think about this...next time you approach a beautiful woman don't think in your head "ok, that one's a 'blonde', that one' s a 'brunette', that one's a Goddess, or that one's stuck-up", etc...- no matter HOW she behaves/dresses.

Say, "the beauty's in the shop" and try to even imagine her having PUT ON all the glamour, at the bathroom sink that morning. Underneath that glamour is a real, approachable woman.

Think about how she's a human being and bust her balls, tease her - point out her insecurities in a fun way and RELATE TO HER and you'll be better off.

Thank you for reading - and DON'T HESITATE to write back with any thoughts, any insights, any problems or any questions you have regarding women or even tips or success stories of your OWN regarding relationships, that you want to share.

Thanks again and we'll talk soon
Cujo

cujo@doubledaredating.com